God's Plan > Mine

“‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways,’ declares the LORD.

‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways

And My thoughts than your thoughts.’”

Isaiah 55:8-9

I was supposed to go back to Haiti this summer. It was the second year in a row I had planned to return. But God closed the door again. I don’t understand why He hasn’t allowed me to return to one of the countries I love so dearly. But I have peace knowing my God does nothing without reason. I trust that one day, in His perfect timing, I will return to my beloved Haiti.

Waiting Room

Here in this waiting room

Yearning for You to say go

And though I'm convinced that a yes would be best

This time You're telling me no

 

It's not that I don't have an answer

It's just not the one that I'd like

But through this time Lord I must keep in mind

You're always wiser than I

 

'Cause You have a much better purpose

And You have a far greater plan

And You have a bigger perspective

'Cause You hold this world in Your hands

 

The things that I seek are from You

Like the strong healing touch of Your hand

But when You say no, help me trust even though

There's a reason I can't understand

 

'Cause You have a much better purpose

And You have a far greater plan

And You have a bigger perspective

'Cause You hold this world in Your hands

 

When that miracle comes 'cause Your answer is yes

I will praise You for all of my days

But when Your wisdom declares that a no is best

I will praise You just the same

 

You have a much better purpose

And You have a far greater plan

And You have a bigger perspective

'Cause You hold this world in Your hands

You hold this world in Your hands

 

--“Waiting Room” by Jonny Diaz

Waiting Here for You

If faith can move the mountains

Let the mountains move

We come with expectation

Waiting here for You, waiting here for You

You're the Lord of all creation

And still you know my heart

The Author of salvation

You've loved us from the start

Waiting here for You

With our hands lifted high in praise

And it's You we adore

Singing Alleluia

You are everything you've promised

Your faithfulness is true

And we're desperate for your presence

All we need is You

Waiting here for You, Lord

With our hands lifted high in praise

And it's you, Lord, we adore

Singing Alleluia

We will wait for You, Lord, we'll stand with You

We will sing alleluia

Singing Alleluia, alleluia

Singing Alleluia, alleluia

Waiting here for You

With our hands lifted high in praise

And it's You we adore, we adore

Singing Alleluia

Waiting here for You

With our hands lifted high in praise

And it's You we adore

Singing Alleluia, singing Alleluia

Waiting here for You

With our hands lifted high in praise

And it's You we adore, with our lives

Singing Alleluia, singing Alleluia

--“Waiting Here for You” by Christy Nockles

Childlike

"Becoming a child again is exactly what God wants. This is the point of abandoning. He wants us to look at the world through new eyes, eyes that see beauty and joy and excitement in all things, even the most ordinary of circumstances. He wants us to give up our control and to trust Him. Abandoning reminds us to be childlike in the middle of life at a time when we've long forgotten what it's like to be a child. This is why we leave; it's why we go on a journey in the first place."

--"Kingdom Journeys" by Seth Barnes

Ready, Set, Go!

Lived so long with my eyes on me

Too deaf to hear, too blind to see

Broken hearts on the city streets but

I can hear that You're calling me to

Be the hope, be the light,

Be the love right now

Oh, You put my life in motion

Your love makes me want to give my all

Ready, Set, Go

Ready, Set, Go

So no, I'm not holding back anymore

Like an engine ready to explode

Ready, Set, Go

Ready, Set, Go

Can't stop, this clock is counting down

So many lost waiting to be found

I will go where You're leading me, God

Reach my hands to the least of these

Be the hope, be the light,

Be the love right now

Starting right now

Oh, You put my life in motion

Your love makes me want to give my all

Ready, Set, Go

Ready, Set, Go

So no, I'm not holding back anymore

Like an engine ready to explode

Ready, Set, Go

Ready, Set, Go

Give me the green light, Show me the finish line

No more spinning in circles, No more wasting time

So let it start today, Where I flip the switch and say

You're my light, I won't fight, I'll go wherever You say

To the top of the highest mountain, to the bottom of every valley

I'll be the spark that turns into the grand finale

This love is something everyone needs to know

Hearts are calling, no more stalling, it's just

Ready, Set, Go

Broken hearts on the city streets but

I can hear that You're calling me to

Be the hope, be the light,

Be the love right now, Starting right now

Oh, You put my life in motion

Your love makes me want to give my all

Ready, Set, Go

Ready, Set, Go

So no, I'm not holding back anymore

Like an engine ready to explode

I'm Ready, Set, Go

Ready, Set, Go

--“Ready, Set, Go” by Royal Tailor

Oceans

La Montagne, Haiti

You call me out upon the water

The great unknown, where feet may fail

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep, my faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours, and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You've never failed, and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours, and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your name

Keep my eyes above the waves

My soul will rest in Your embrace

I am Yours, and You are mine

I am Yours, and You are mine

I am Yours, and You are mine

I am Yours, and You are mine

--“Oceans” by Hillsong United

Summer Plans

My impatient heart is starting to beat a bit faster. It’s already March and I have no idea if and where I will be going on a mission trip this summer. My heart yearns to go back to Haiti and see my beloved Valencia. But I have also been given the opportunity to return to Guatemala, possibly for an extended time.

And then God opened up yet another door for me to take an extended trip to Haiti. But right now, I simply don’t know. I feel convicted to wait patiently on Him. I know He will make it perfectly clear in His timing. He may have a completely different plan for my summer that doesn’t involve Haiti or Guatemala! I look forward to finding out. J

Mission

“God scatters to reunite.”

That quote came from the book I’ve been reading lately called “Finish the Mission” by John Piper and David Mathis. The discussion in the chapter was about the Gospel in the Old Testament, and the way that God scattered the nation of Israel on multiple occasions. In the New Testament, we also see the disciples being scattered into all the world in order to preach the gospel.

Biblically speaking, we have so many examples of people GOING in order to spread the gospel. We too, are called to GO outside of our comfort zones for His honor and glory. Even though we are sometimes baffled as to why God seems to break up a “good thing,” often it’s for a better thing! God scatters to reunite.

Haitian Food

I miss Haitian food! I had been worried before we went to Haiti that it would be too spicy, but I think they toned it for us “Blan.” J As I have become more involved in foreign missions work, I am more and more grateful for the way my parents trained me in the area of food. Growing up, we were always required to eat a portion of everything, whether we liked it or not. Scientifically speaking, having enough exposure to a food, you will like it—or at least tolerate it—eventually.

I really think that happened for me! My motto now is “I’ll try anything once.” That attitude has served me well so far. In so many third-world countries, food is far more than food. It is the people’s way of showing hospitality. To refuse the food they prepare would be to refuse their generosity. And when they can barely afford to cook and eat themselves, it means even more to offer their precious food to a guest. That really puts food into perspective for me!

Guatemala Update

I can hardly believe the summer flew by so quickly! Anticipation has a way of moving time along. School is starting and the mission trip to Guatemala is already a month behind me . . .

While the time speeds on, the memories remain crisp and clear in my mind. Long eyelashes framing the brown eyes looking up at me. The shouts of school-children cheering on their classmates in a soccer match. Little arms wrapped around my neck in an embrace. Spanish and English words mixed together in worship of the King.

The primary purpose of our trip was to build the relationship between our church and student ministry and Pastor A and Fellowship Guatemala. We also built a relationship with Pastor D, the founder and president of Fellowship Guatemala.

When we arrived Sunday, we had the opportunity to participate in a worship service at a new church plant Pastor D has started. Monday through Thursday, we served alongside Pastor A at a public elementary school. We conducted a sports camp for the kids, and did devotions with them. Each afternoon was spent at the Opportunity Center started by Pastor A, where 35-40 students go to learn English though Rosetta Stone. One evening was spent at a small orphanage, where we interacted with a dozen children. Our week concluded with a day in Antigua, where we enjoyed sweet fellowship with our new Guatemalan friends.

The trip was not what I expected. God so clearly sent us there rather than Haiti, and I was expecting another “light bulb moment” like I had in Haiti. I came away from the trip with more questions than answers. But I serve a God who knows all the answers. The following quote from Corrie Ten Boom has been on my mind through all of this: “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”

I trust that in His timing, He will reveal the reasons behind this trip. In the meanwhile, I am prayerfully considering a return trip next summer, and possibly an internship. Pastor D’s family will be coming to visit the States in October, and I look forward to introducing them to the rest of my family. J

The work in Haiti continues, and I remain committed to seeing the orphanage built. I will take just one day at a time, and continue to follow wherever God leads, through every door He opens.

THANK YOU for your faithful support and prayers! You are enabling me to fulfill the calling God has placed on my life: the call to share the good news of Jesus Christ with the nations!

To read my day-by-day journal accounts of the Guatemala trip, click on the links below:

Guatemala, Part 1

Guatemala, Part 2

Guatemala, Part 3

Guatemala, Part 4

Guatemala, Part 5

Guatemala, Part 6

Guatemala, Part 7

Guatemala, Part 8

Guatemala, Part 9

Hold My Heart

This song has been on my heart since I returned from Guatemala. I hope to share more of an update on the trip later this week!

How long must I pray

Must I pray to You?

How long must I wait

Must I wait for You?

How long till I see Your face

See You shining through?

I'm on my knees

Begging You to notice me

I'm on my knees

Father, will You turn to me?

One tear in the driving rain

One voice in a sea of pain

Could the Maker of the stars

Hear the sound of my breaking heart?

One life, that's all I am

Right now I can barely stand

If You're everything You say You are

Would You come close and hold my heart?

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes

So much can slip away before I say goodbye

But if there's no other way

I'm done asking why

'Cause I'm on my knees

Begging You to notice me

I'm on my knees

Father, will You run to me, yeah

One tear in the driving rain

One voice in a sea of pain

Could the maker of the stars

Hear the sound of my breaking heart?

One life, that's all I am

Right now I can barely stand

If You're everything You say You are

Would You come close and hold my heart?

So many questions without answers

Your promises remain

I can't see but I'll take my chances

To hear You call my name

To hear You call my name

One tear in the driving rain

One voice in a sea of pain

Could the maker of the stars

Hear the sound of my breaking heart?

One life, that's all I am

Right now I can barely stand

If You're everything You say You are

Would You come close and hold my heart?

Hold my heart

Could You hold my heart?

Hold my heart

--“Hold My Heart” by Tenth Avenue North

Faces of Haiti: Created

The longer I live, the more I travel, the more people I meet, the more I feel that I was created for foreign missions work. I am created to share the hope of Christ with others, and worship Him by pouring my life out in service to Him.

Life

“God’s goal is not to make sure you’re happy. Life is not about your being comfortable, happy, successful and pain free. It is about becoming the man or woman God has called you to be. Life is not about you. It’s about God. He doesn’t exist to make us happy. We exist to bring Him glory.”

--Chuck Swindoll

The Fall

I recently finished reading an excellent book called “When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting the Poor . . . and Yourself” by Brian Fikkert and Steve Corbett. I thought I knew what to expect from reading the book, but I was challenged and convicted so much by reading it.

In one of the early chapters, the authors discuss the Fall and the effects on our lives today from that event. Throughout their book, they talk a lot about broken individuals and broken systems. In reality, the richest person in the world can simultaneously be the poorest person in the world and vice versa because poverty is so multi-faceted. The following quote really stood out to me:

“The fall really happened, and it is wreaking havoc in all of our lives. We are all broken, just in different ways.” –Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert in “When Helping Hurts”

Optional

“Some things in life are optional and some are not.

Wearing shoes is optional. But eating is not.

Driving a car is optional. But once you choose the option, driving on the right-hand side of the road (here in America) is not.

Becoming a Christian is optional. But once you decide to ask Jesus Christ to take control of your life, involvement in world missions is no longer optional. I’m not saying that these things are impossible. You can choose to go without eating, but if you do, you must take the consequences. . . You can choose to drive on the left but you will pay fines and cause accidents.”

 

–Peter C. Wagner, On the Crest of the Wave (Glendale, Calif.: Regal, 1983), 5

"Walking in Broken Shoes" Book Review

(Originally posted on www.7eagleswings.blogspot.com on May 17, 2013)

Recently, my Mom was spending some Amazon gift cards she received last year. She was so sweet and bought a little something for each of us. J She gave me a choice between 4 or 5 different missions-related books. I was so excited when my copy of “Walking in Broken Shoes” by Susan Magnuson Walsh arrived! I had never heard of the book until Mom mentioned it to me, but it sounded like my kind of book.

Susan Walsh—a pediatric nurse practitioner—led many short-term medical missions trips to Haiti prior to the earthquake in 2010. The first half of the book describes these trips. The book is written mostly in journal form, with lots of email updates and personal stories.

While I found the book interesting up to that point, my interest really piqued half-way through the book. Susan Walsh was in Haiti with a team during the January 2010 earthquake. She gives an incredible first-hand account of what the tremor felt like, the emotional responses to the quake, and the devastation felt in Pétionville. Thankfully no one on their team was hurt, but immediately following the quake, they found themselves serving at a hospital where they saw every injury imaginable.

Susan Walsh describes their experience as that of a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (MASH unit.) People were missing limbs, losing blood at a life-threatening rate, and so much more. Many of the people in the hospital were dead. Her team did the best they could to treat injuries for 6 or 7 hours after the quake, but the number of people requiring treatment was enormous.

Because of the condition of the airport and the chaos, their team—which was supposed to leave the day after the quake—was stranded in Haiti for several extra days. Their ordeal of trying to get out of the country was nightmarish.

She also goes on to describe the trips she made back to Haiti following the quake. The very last chapter gives a very good analysis of where things stand in Haiti today, including the issues that have been dealt with, and the issues that have not been resolved.

I really appreciated the book because it not only gave an excellent first-hand account of an earth-shattering (literally) event that nearly every person in Haiti bears scars from, but it also gives a great look into the tremendous needs of the Haitian people. The issues are complex, sticky, and difficult to deal with. At times it feels like the mess has gotten so big, it can never be cleaned up.

But God is still sovereign over all. He will use tragedies such as the 2010 earthquake for HIS glory and to make HIS Name famous in Haiti. Susan Walsh does a great job of sharing her personal testimony and how God worked in her life through all the situations she was a part of in Haiti.

I definitely recommend this book for anyone high-school aged and up, particularly those who are considering medical missions work. Parts of the story are heartbreaking, but I think our hearts need to be broken more often, because brokenness brings us to a point of action.

Pushing on a Pull Door

A couple of weeks ago, our family went to see “for KING & COUNTRY” in concert. I had purchased their CD a couple of weeks before that, and really enjoyed the song “Pushing on a Pull Door.” The song describes too well how I feel so often. I think I’m going in the right direction and doing all the right things, only to find that I was “pushing on a pull door.”

If hope is what you're after

I can take it and turn it into rain

Your tears become laughter

I will catch them and turn them back again

I will catch them and twist them back again

When you're upside down, then you see it all

That you spend all your time pushing on a pull door

You made a plan

You think you're in control

You're flying

But you're way too high to fall

And hey man

Check around the corner

Because it's coming

Here's your wakeup call

Don't hear Me coming?

I'm your wakeup call

When you're upside down, then you see it all

Everything's the wrong way around but clearer than before

When you're upside down, then you see it all

That you spend all your time pushing on a pull door

I will shake you

I will make your shattered dreams unwind

Because it's only when it comes to pieces

Only then as time increases

You will find the peace that you've been dying for

You'll realize that all this time

You've been pushing on a pull door

You've been pushing on a pull door

Upside down, then you see it all

Everything's the wrong way around but clearer than before

Oh you know, when you're upside down, then you see it all

That you spend all your time pushing on a pull door

When you're upside down, then you see it all

Everything's the wrong way around but clearer than before

When you're upside down, then you see it all

That you spend all your time pushing on a pull door

Hey, pushing on a pull door

You've been pushing on a pull door

--by “for KING & COUNTRY”

Evangelism

Shortly after I became the missions trip coordinator for “A Child’s Hope,” I began reading “The Essential Guide to the Short Term Mission Trip” by David C. Forward. He takes a comprehensive look at short term missions trip, starting with why we should be involved in missions at all. The quote below on evangelism stood out to me:

“Though it may seem at times a challenge, evangelism is our solemn obligation. It is never ‘not my job.’

Missions authority David M. Howard wrote:

The missionary enterprise of the church is not a pyramid built upside down with its point on one isolated text in the New Testament out of which we have built a huge structure known as ‘missions.’ Rather, the missionary enterprise of the church is a great pyramid built right side up, with its base running from Genesis 1 to Revelation 22. All of Scripture forms the foundation for the outreach of the gospel to the whole world. [David Mr. Howard, The Great Commission for Today (Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity, 1976), 31.]

The model that compels us to do evangelistic mission work today can be found in Matthew 9:35: ‘Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness.’”

Evangelism is truly at the core of Christianity. If God did not want us to practice evangelism, then we would go straight to heaven after we became a Christian. But He leaves us here on this earth with the sole purpose of proclaiming His Name among all the nations. How are you doing in this vital mandate? Are you a faithful evangelist for Christ?

Middle of Your Heart

This song by “for KING & COUNTRY” has been a big encouragement and reminder to me lately. Everything related to Haiti is hard. Waiting to return is hard. Understanding what God is calling ME to do is hard. Knowing how to help is hard. Trusting that God has a perfect plan is hard. Seeing people the way God sees them is hard.

I want so desperately to be taken to the middle of the Father’s heart. I want my heart to break for what breaks His. I want to experience His love for the broken, abandoned, orphaned, sick, and widowed.

This is where it begins

This is where all the worry ends

This is where I say I don't need to have control

This is where I admit

I don't know how to handle it

Life in all of this chaos

You're my only hope

And all that I have to offer

Is the white flag of surrender

So take me to the middle of Your heart

Lead me to wherever Your love starts

To a new day dawning

To the place You are

And if You want to take me over the edge

I'll let you ‘cause Your love is where I'll land

Want to be right where You are,

In the middle of Your heart

This is what I believe

That if I give you my everything

I will become who I was really born to be

I'll stand up and say it

Your love is something I can put my faith in

So take me to the middle of Your heart

Lead me to wherever Your love starts

To a new day dawning

To the place You are

And if You want to take me over the edge

I'll let you ‘cause Your love is where I'll land

Want to be right where You are,

In the middle of Your heart

What I carry...

What I carry...

But now I can let it go

Yeah I carry it

Lord I carry it

But now I can let it go

I can let it go

So take me to the middle of Your heart

Lead me to wherever Your love starts

To a new day dawning

To the place You are

And if You want to take me over the edge

I'll let you ‘cause Your love is where I'll land

Want to be right where You are,

In the middle of Your heart

The middle of Your heart

--“Middle of Your Heart” by for KING & COUNTRY